2

…so there’s this guy

My divorce has stalled.

It really stinks because I want this over with.

Every time that I think I’m done with this, I realize that I’m not as far along in the ‘grieving’ process as I thought I was.

Or at least until a few weeks ago.

My Irish Idiot has been the one to file for divorce and then decided to stop turning in paperwork and now we’re over two months behind where we should be, because…he’s an idiot. He forgets that he started this process and whereas before I would read into that, now I’m just annoyed.

I’m annoyed at a lot.

He skipped out on seeing his daughter in order to celebrate his girlfriends divorce. He lied and said that he had to work and tried to blame it on something fictional that supposedly I said in order to justify not spending the entire weekend with his daughter. This would have been the third weekend for the two of them to spend together and he missed it.

I can only imagine that this is the tone that he’s setting for the rest of my daughters life.

I will be judged for saying this but I honestly thought it would feel good. I thought I would get some satisfaction from him ditching his daughter on the weekend that he was supposed to have her…when he was supposed to have her and then lied and said he had to work. I thought that proving everything that I said was true would feel good or give me some satisfaction, but the reality is that it hurt more then when he cheated on me, more then when he left the bruises…because he rejected the most beautiful thing in the world – our daughter. He communicated that a ‘fly-by-night’ girl was more important than the cutest little redhead that God ever created.

So, I’m annoyed.

I just want to be done. I want to forget that I thought he was ever good enough for me. I want him to be a grown up and turn his paperwork in to the courts like he should have done over two months ago. Yet, that apparently, is the person that I married, that I’m now divorcing.

And I’ve finally come to grips with it because I’ve finally realized that I married a loser. I’m not the loser, user or abuser – he was.

I married someone that loved the fact that I paid for everything. For him, that was all that I was in the picture for.

When I reviewed his checking account info that he submitted, it hit me how much of a schmuck I was, yet, I’m proud that I was that schmuck. I looked back to the week that we eloped and I realized that he paid for one thing while we were in Canada…he bought Tim Horton’s coffee…that’s it. That’s all this man contributed to the cost of our elopement; that’s all he contributed to our family vacation. I paid for the rest. He sponged off of me.

I’m an idiot.

Wait…am I really an idiot??

No.

I’m not. I’m not an idiot. I’m a person that was so in love with someone that I never cared about money. I cared about memories…about experiences…about our family…about our engagement…about us.

I believed him…that makes me a softy at heart, not an idiot like he claims I am…it simply shows that I was truly in love with a person – with their ‘being’, not their bank account (like he was).

It was eye opening what he was doing behind my back as I reviewed the account information. The good thing for me is that I finally am at a point where I don’t care. I truly am so apathetic to the loser of a man that I was married to, I can’t wait to wash my hands of him. Just say a prayer for the little redhead because he’s already shown that he can’t be counted on to be there for her…he’s already shown that he’ll put his needs before hers, and I never want her to be put through the same hurt that he’s put me through.

And then my family and friends enter the picture. And they remind me of all that I have to be thankful for…all that I already have in my life, even though my ex wants to make me think that I’m not enough for anything more than helping to reduce his child support amount.

Divorce can bring people back into your life that you forgot were in the wings. That sounds super pretentious but what I mean is that sometimes there are people in your past that need to stay in your past, or people that your new love wouldn’t feel comfortable around, or just simply people that you’ve outgrown based on your life choices.

…so there’s this guy…

He has been in my life for many, many years. While he may not have been an active part of my life for the last 15+ years, I always knew that he would have my back, no matter what…no matter who…no matter what the circumstances were – I could call and he would answer and he would show up.

There are very few people in my life, in anyone’s life, that are this amazing. I’m lucky enough to not only have family in-state and out-of-state that are this awesome but also friends that have been through the Big D #1 and the Big D #2 with me…and then there’s this guy.

This guy…A friend that wants nothing from me but for me to see me how he sees me. A friend that tells me how stupid I’ve been and that I need to suck it up because my ex is an idiot and how I shouldn’t stoop to his level. This friend is a guy that gives me more ‘guy advice’ than I could ever ask for. Sometimes I hate hearing it and in other times, I couldn’t be more grateful.

I love my girlfriends. They sympathize with me, they tell me honestly how life will be so much better without my pathetic excuse for an ex, and help remind me how much more wonderful my life is without my ex…and yet they are my ‘girls’.

Girls are nice…close girlfriends will tell you how it is, but they still are gentle when they say it (typically).

Guys (as I’m learning) will tell you how stupid and soft you are being without batting an eye.

And that’s why I’m thankful for this guy.

He’s told me that there’s no need to tell my ex any longer how stupid he is because he should already know it.

He’s told me that I am good enough…that I don’t need to care that my ex is already dating his third girlfriend…that I don’t need to justify anything to this Idiot.

That simply that I just need to be me and move on and realize that he never deserved me and he’s showing it now. Because I’m that awesome…and my ex is an Idiot. His words – not mine.

…and with that said:

Some of you may be saying, well, now she’s doing it again – she’s validating herself through the words of another man – and I get it. I’ve honestly struggled with it myself. I’ve told this guy numerous times that I don’t believe him, that I think that he wants something from me, that I don’t want to be anything more than friends (because I ‘go there’ unnecessarily sometimes), because I think he wants to have a ‘friend’ – a girl that’s there in case someone else doesn’t show up.

…back story:

When the man that you love with all of your heart cheats on you and hurts you, it leaves bruises seen and unseen that you deal with long after it happens. I am still trying everything I can to remind myself that only losers cheat, and only idiots leave bruises, and only morons justify it and claim that they are the victim. Yet, the victim truly does have to pull themselves out of it…for day, weeks, months, and years to come. The emotional damage that one small act can cause can’t always be repaired – it just has to be put ‘away’ and moved past and that can take some time.

When the love of your life has hurt you in a way that no other person ever could, life can be emotionally draining to deal with.

And when you hear repeatedly that “you could never be loved by another man”, and then another man shows self-sacrificing love, it’s hard to actually recognize. When you do, it’s probably too late. I’m just thankful that this guy has been my friend for a long time and I know he’ll be there for a long time after all of this garbage is over.

So this post is partly to announce the last of my regular divorce posts before my site changes slightly to focus on the future, and it is, in fact, in part, due to this guy. This guy that grinned big and wide when I walked into the room the other night and when he introduced me to his friend, he friend said repeatedly how beautiful I was and all my friend did was grin ear-to-ear…this guy that can’t figure out how to introduce me because I won’t let a label land on us…this guy that has friends that boost my ego more than he does…this guy that puts my needs before his…this guy that checks on me each day – multiple times a day – just to make sure that my emotions aren’t a wreck because of my Irish Idiot…this guy is a friend that I don’t ever want to lose.

Keep your friends close and…even closer during divorce, because divorce sucks and the more people that you have in your corner, the faster you will heal.

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2

all i want for christmas is my divorce

I have a unique perspective with this divorce because I’ve been through this before. While I’m on the other side of the table this time, and never wanted this divorce and even took a cheating husband back, I still know what is involved emotionally, financially and legally through this process. I absolutely HATE that I know all of this, but this is my reality.

My husband is making very poor choices through this divorce process and is being ill-advised, and where ever that advice is coming from, this process has been made doubly difficult because of it, simply because he won’t just stand behind his own feelings and he relies too often on everyone else’s opinions.

Whereas you would think that I would be the one making things challenging, he is the one that can’t turn anything in on time (literally months behind me) and continues to fight agreeing to a timesharing agreement for my daughter all because he refuses to not drink for four days per month.

I just don’t get it.

You would think that he was the one fighting the divorce rather than the one that started this process based on the issues that he is drawing into this. He was the one that cheated, he was the one that left bruises, he was the one that ran away, he was the one that filed for divorce.

With that said, I’ve written an open-ended letter to my soon-to-be-ex, not necessarily hoping that he’ll read it, but rather that others that are going through a divorce or considering divorce, won’t make the same mistakes that he is making.

Dear You-Know-Who,

I loved you with everything that I had. I even loved you after I found out that you had ‘fallen deeply in love’ with a woman that has no issue joining in to ruin a family and even after you did things to me that I have yet to be able to utter to another soul. I should have seen your character in choosing such a person to be with, but I didn’t, because I was blinded by my love for you.

Now though, I have seen another side, a nasty, disgusting side that saddens me.

I can’t believe that I ever fell for you. If I knew then what I know now, I probably wouldn’t have stayed very long. How you only care about money and how much everyone else can give to you without you having to work hard for it, is sad and I really hope that our daughter learns her work ethic from me and not your family. Trying to find a shortcut does nothing but prolong the inevitable of having to really work hard for what you have.

Which brings me to the point of this letter.

You were the one that wanted this divorce…do you remember? Do you remember me asking for more counseling and you laughing at me? Do you remember being so cold and heartless? I remember every word you said, every action you took, every heartless thing you’ve done.

After some of the things that you’ve chosen to do, say or participate in, I’ve lost all respect for you, and to me, that is so much worse than if I only hated you.

I just want you to stand on your own two feet…to follow through with the things that we talk about when it’s just us talking. But then your family, throws their bad advice in the mix and you back out of what you had previously agreed to – and the things that we had agreed upon were in the best interests of our daughter and it would have ended this bitterness so much faster.

For some reason, you can’t see how selfish your family is being. They don’t want the best for you – they want the best for them.

Stand up for what YOU know is right…stand up for what YOU think is worth it…stand up for what YOU know will end this battle. Stop letting others influence your decisions. YOU are the only one that has to live with me in your life for at least the next 16 years. YOU are the only one that can stop the madness. YOU are the only one that can lead this to a calm resolution because YOU are the one that started this process.

Your family only wants you for themselves – all for what you can do for them, the things you can fix, the business that you started that they can take over and tell you how to run, to share the daughter that we are raising. And you fail to see that they are so selfish that they continue to feed your delusions of right and wrong, so that you can maintain the ‘victim’ mentality, when you were the one that made all of these poor decisions.

And now…now you want the courts to feel sorry for you too. You’ve painted such a sad picture of your life and financial outlook yet we both know that I’ll be able to poke tons of holes through all of it.

I have advice for you and I hope you listen, because I’ve been through this before. You seem to be using a ton of energy on things that don’t matter. Every decision that you make needs to be something that you want, not that someone else is advising you that you should want. The anger that you expend each time that you don’t hear what you want to hear isn’t worth it and in the end will be for nothing.

Zero-Emotion Divorce: Thanks Florida.

The divorce process in Florida has become so clinical that you really need to have every T crossed and every I dotted if you want to claim something that I paid for four years ago (aka my vehicle, amongst other things), should be half yours. I recommend that you really ask yourself if it’s worth it to argue that the things that I paid for prior to our marriage should be yours.

If you notice, I skipped all of that nonsense, because it’s not worth it. I just want out of this marriage at this point, with each of us getting what we walked in with, splitting the marital assets, and what we decide is financially fair considering I left a 17-year career to support you less than 12 months before you walked out on me, and I just want to know that my daughter will be safe when she is with you.

And that’s it. If we could come to a conclusion on those things, it could be over. It’s all I want for Christmas.

You were the one that wanted out but you’re fighting so much for stuff that I paid for…is that all I was to you – a dollar sign? You’re very unlikely to win so the fact that you are fighting so hard for ‘things’ is beyond me. Use this energy for building your business instead of going after things that you’ve never had the right to claim as yours.

Work with me to end this, not against me. It seems that your pride is getting in the way and you are letting others influence your decisions instead of just standing on your own two feet and making a decision that will end this quickly and in the best interest of our daughter.

You’re wanting to battle over the most ridiculous things…harder than fighting for your daughter or building your business/finding a job that would provide you with a schedule that would allow you to spend more time with her. But instead you want to do everything you can to try to hurt me. Well, in case you didn’t know, you’ve already achieved that…you can stop trying now because you are now irrelevant to my life.

I’ve moved on with my life and just want this done. Clear your head and really ask yourself if this battle, that you are creating, is really worth it. Will it do anything but prolong what you’ve wanted all along? Will it do anything to build our relationship as adults that are trying to raise a daughter together? Will you be setting an example that you’ll be proud of your daughter watching?

More advice is just to do what’s right from the beginning. It will cost A LOT less and end A LOT sooner, if you can put aside your emotion, pride and greed and seek out a resolution instead of causing more issues each week.

The reason that I can offer all of this advice is because I’ve been in your shoes before. Although, I wasn’t fighting to take money from the man that I was divorcing. I wasn’t lying about my income or assets that I had. In the end, my ex and I came to an agreement on both our ‘stuff’ and our parenting plan because we both just put aside our anger and we put it all out there and came to an agreement that best suited the boys and settled the issues with our ‘stuff’.

And if I had done that sooner, the divorce decree could have been signed sooner.

Pride gets in the way so often, but, you can make the choice to set it aside and realize that divorce is a horrible thing and no one will get exactly what they want but there has to be some kind of resolution. If both parties can be honest and calm and make decisions that are ethical and fair, the process can fly by much faster and MUCH cheaper.

So with that said, you may take my advice, and you may not, but just know I’ve done this before and I can offer advice based on what I did wrong so that both of us can walk away sooner from this disaster of a marriage.

Clear your head, have a cup of coffee instead of a beer and then get to work asking yourself, ‘is it really worth it to fight for the shell of a Jeep in the garage that she paid for?”.  Life really can be that simple as soon as you realize that ‘stuff’ doesn’t matter, only souls, and our daughters’ is magical and pure and doesn’t need to be put through all of the ‘garbage’.

Please note that this post and most of the posts on my website/blog may contain affiliate links. Should you decide to click on one of these ads and purchase something through this link, I will get a commission from it (the pricing is no different for you than going directly to their website)(I do not get commissions from sites where you donate money or things). Not all items recommended on this site are affiliate links. I only recommend items that I feel are amazing because I’ve used and tried them. Thank you for your trust and viewership!
2

finding me: adventure #1

finding me after divorce

The silver lining in this divorce is that it’s forced me to really dig deep and figure out who I am and what I want out of life. I’ve started to create an ‘Elle Woods’ style vision board, I’ve spent time just being by myself, and I’ve spent time with friends, just being me, without apology or hesitation. And it’s been glorious. I really can’t say that I’ve had a day of loneliness in F.O.R.E.V.E.R.

A couple of friends that I have to thank, have committed to helping me rediscover who I am and doing things that I’VE always wanted to do (even though they want to do these also because the ‘fun things’ are truly just that awesome to do). I’m picking these things…no one else and I get to be the one to do what I want when I want to (and that’s if the kids aren’t with me because the kids always overrule me :)).

And as much as I love my kids, I need to do these adventures on my own. Mom’s forget, all too often, who we were before we had kids – and we mentally shame ourselves for wanting time alone…so I am working diligently to find a balance between mom-life and me-life and work-life. Thank goodness for friends so that I get to have fun with other adults during my adventures too.

B.I.N.G.O.

Recently, I had my own, first, personal adventure. Bingo. Yes, that’s not a play on words…I played Bingo. I know this sounds ridiculous, but I’ve always thought that it would be fun to go and play Bingo with the hard core, dauber-owning, bingo players.

It was just as much fun as I thought it would be.

A friend of mine went with me to Bingo and  we bought daubers (the ink-dot things that make playing Bingo faster) and spent $1 for three cards and we didn’t win a thing but had so much fun. The people playing are super intense and I think I was even “shushed” once or twice, because I like to talk and giggle a lot, but it was so much fun.

To get out of the house for a few hours, spend time around adults, get my blood pumping trying to keep track of 6 Bingo squares at once, giggle when I couldn’t keep up, giggle at the bad words heard around the room when someone said Bingo, giggle when there was a loud sigh of relief when the announcer said that it was not a Bingo, and giggle at the mad rush for the exit when 75 people lost and Bingo was over, was so much fun.

I’m not sure that I’m going to do it again but I’m glad I went. It was something different, a change of scenery and a chance to do something that I’ve always wanted to do – call me simple, but it was so much fun.

About a year ago, I watched an episode of Duck Dynasty where the mom and Willie went to Bingo and he attempted to ‘call’ the numbers/letters for Bingo. I loved watching the intensity of each of the players and because I love people watching I thought it would be so much fun.

The reality was that it was so much better than the show portrayed. 🙂 The people watching was awesome and it was packed with people from all backgrounds. I like the simple things, I suppose.

Create a Bucket List.

My advice to anyone getting ready to get married – write a list of things that you like to do, and make sure that it’s not all about the things that your soon-to-be-spouse likes to do. It’s wonderful to do things together and you should have regular date nights, but you should do things that you both want to do, not just your spouse.

I think that my ‘people pleasing’ mindset has compromised too much in both of my marriages and I never really asserted myself enough to get to do what I wanted to do. That’s not to say that I didn’t love getting interested in their favorite things, it’s just that neither one of my husbands ever asked me what I wanted to do on date night. It was only ever what ‘we’ wanted to do and because I was always fine with whatever they liked, they never stepped outside of their ‘boxes’ to do something that was on my bucket list. But, at least, this is something new for me to focus on – checking everything off of my bucket list.

And because I’ve focused on it – I never really realized that my bucket list is a mile long. I can’t wait to do everything. Things like camping on the beach and enjoying a resort with the rooms on/in the water have given me a new drive in life. I am going to work not for the work accomplishments but purely as a means to give the word ‘life’ a new meaning. I want to teach my kids that it’s important to set goals so that you have a reason to work hard and then enjoy ‘moments’ and life and create memories that only they can relish in.

I can’t wait to create new memories and I can’t wait to teach the kids the value in creating new memories.

We didn’t realize that we were making memories. We just knew we were having fun.

Please note that this post and most of the posts on my website/blog may contain affiliate links. Should you decide to click on one of these ads and purchase something through this link, I will get a commission from it (the pricing is no different for you than going directly to their website)(I do not get commissions from sites where you donate money or things). Not all items recommended on this site are affiliate links. I only recommend items that I feel are amazing because I’ve used and tried them. Thank you for your trust and viewership!
2

she’s my Brandi

I have an amazing friend that I wish I could clone for everyone to have. She’s just so cool, honest, silly, and funny and can make anyone’s day brighter. I wouldn’t know what life would be like without this woman.

She was the room mom for my oldest son’s three year old preschool class and she was the queen of all room mom’s. I attempted to be as amazing as she was, at being room mom, a few years later but didn’t even come close. She has a teachers heart and a special love for kids that is inspiring.

When I met her, I had just given birth to my second son and was slowly falling into the world of losing who “Staci” was and becoming only a ‘mom’. Not that it is a bad thing at all to love motherhood, but life can become overwhelming and draining if you don’t take a break to really focus on who you are as a person without the kids and without the spouse. She helped me redefine what being a great mother was.

She showed me that we can love and support our kids 100% of the time but give ourselves a break to be a friend, an adult every once in a while. Taking time to be silly and catching up on things other than Power Rangers and super heroes is okay to do. And I love her for this because it’s so easy to lose your identity once you become a mom. You can easily find yourself being called the “cutest little red-head’s” mom, instead of simply being identified by your first name.

Judgie-Moms

Recently I was told that I should focus on my kids instead of blogging about my divorce. It stung, a lot, because it came from another hockey mom that I had once respected, and was stated as if I don’t focus on my kids which is sooo far from the truth.

My blog is my avenue to avoid costly therapy…and that’s okay because this is how I cope – this is what works for me. I share something and then move on…that’s it. There’s no further discussion about it after that. For someone to think that my kids aren’t getting the attention that they need and deserve is such a shortsighted judgement that is insulting. Everything I do is for my kids. Everything I fight for is for my kids. Everything that I push myself to achieve is for my kids. I’m doing an amazing job at motherhood.

But I have to admit…had I never been through a divorce I probably would have the same judgement. That’s one thing that I’ve learned through divorce is that you truly have no clue what is going on in someone’s home life, marriage, or relationships until you live it. Social media skews the truth so much, yet so many of us buy into what we see online as the complete truth about a situation.

This is the exact reason why I use this forum to be (almost) completely transparent about what I’m dealing with…because it’s not easy to admit any of this to anyone because people judge. And they’re mean, because they have no clue exactly what you’ve gone through. To admit that two marriages have failed, no matter who is at fault, is tough, but I’ve done it because when I went through my first divorce, I didn’t have anyone that truly knew or understood what I was going through. Many people sympathized, but no one really knew…which is why I blog – to make others feel not so alone.

I’ve chosen to leave some of the really bad choices that my soon-to-be-ex has made, out of the blog, in case my daughter should ever see these. Only I, and those closest to me, fully know the extent of hell that I’ve been put through. I don’t need to explain myself to anyone and those that question my decisions should also choose another path of ‘entertainment’ other than reading about how I’m coping with my current situation.

And for the strength to be able to say that, I owe it all to my silly, dinosaur costume wearing, scary movie watching, dance party hosting, best friend that has helped me to see who I really am as Staci…not just ‘mom’.

My Brandi

The funny thing is that in all of the world you won’t find two more people alike in the fact that we are HUGE people pleasers. If we’ve upset someone, we are nauseous about it, we stress about it, and focus on it waaay more than it deserves…but that’s who we are. She’s given me so much strength to be okay with who I am, flaws and all, and do my best to not care what other people and other moms think because she’s focusing on it too in her own life – she’s just a few steps ahead of me.

She’s my Brandi and I’m her Stephanie (#RHOD reference) – we can sit for hours and laugh until our stomachs hurt, tell each other the honest truth about what is going on in our lives – even the stuff we don’t want to fully admit to ourselves, tell each other the truth and be honest about if we think the other person should suck it up or belly-ache some more, then laugh some more, sing 90’s songs to the kids until we annoy them, and still want to do it all over again the next week. I’m so thankful that I have her in my life and I hope that everyone can have a ‘Brandi’ in their lives.

The key though is complete honesty with those that are closest to you. Those that truly care about you won’t judge you. If they do, walk away from them. You can’t have deep, meaningful relationships if you aren’t completely “You”.

brandi blog post 2

I wouldn’t love having her in my life if I didn’t feel like she loved me for who I was, down deep. If I had to put up a façade with her, it would be like so many other acquaintances that I have…and I have enough of those. I’m thankful that I have a friend like her in my corner that will shake me into reality when I’m throwing myself a pity party yet at the same time talk about our kids most recent bathroom issue, over a hurricane app that apparently everyone in Central Florida had downloaded and could hear us being silly on, during Hurricane Irma. (true story)

My challenge to you – be honest with those that are closest to you and grow those relationships and try your hardest to smile and be kind to those that have negative things to say, regardless of what their poorly based opinions may be. Only you have to be accountable for your actions – if you’re proud of them, then own them…if not, then change them.

Please note that this post and most of the posts on my website/blog may contain affiliate links. Should you decide to click on one of these ads and purchase something through this link, I will get a commission from it (the pricing is no different for you than going directly to their website)(I do not get commissions from sites where you donate money or things). Not all items recommended on this site are affiliate links. I only recommend items that I feel are amazing because I’ve used and tried them. Thank you for your trust and viewership!
2

the first flirt

Recently someone called me insecure. I am insecure, most women are about something or at some point in their lives. Heck, I think everyone is at some point. The love of my life left and, through his actions, showed me that he felt that I and our family weren’t good enough for him. I felt rejected. I felt not good enough. I felt less than enough for someone that had pledged his life to me and our family, our daughter.

It’s sad and I’m working through it mentally but I know it’s for the best. He has so many mental and emotional issues to deal with apparently (because who thinks it’s more fun to go through a divorce, destroy a family, hurt a woman, hurt children, than work through a couple of problems that he never even shared that he felt we had), that I’ve come to realize that it’s not my fault he made some really poor choices. I just now have to remind myself constantly that it’s not my fault that he’s a jerk. And I know that my self esteem will rebuild and bounce back after the blow he took to it, it will just take time.

The Flirt.

And then you have days like a couple of weeks ago. Someone flirted with this insecure woman (me). And not just with a silly come-on…with real intention. Like phone calls and text follow up after running into each other, type of flirting.

And it felt so darn amazing!

It felt like I had almost forgotten how to even realize what it was because my soon-to-be-ex will try to flirt with me every now and then and I want to throw up in my mouth a little each time, so I’ve learned to ignore it.

But this…this was fun to hear. To be pursued, even casually, was fun.

I’m not ready for this though…I have soo much to do on my own first. So much to cope with, accept, move through and past; so much to conquer, take on, and achieve…that I don’t have the time or emotional capacity to even consider having someone in my life. So for now, I have another friend on my journey.

Liar, Liar, Pants on Fire.

I found out some interesting news the other day…my soon-to-be-ex, Erik, struck up a friendship with my ex-husband and had this secret friendship the ENTIRE time that my soon-to-be-ex and I were together. Who does that??

It made me nauseous to find out because those were EVEN MORE lies that he told me. Every once in a while, my ex-husband would know something that only Erik could have told him (because I know I wouldn’t have done that) and instead of simply being honest, Erik would lie over and over. Erik even went as far as to completely trash my ex-husband and his character to other people frequently…and then he would go and have a beer with my ex-husband. You can tell a person’s character by these types of things and apparently I found the King of the Liars.

It’s just absurd to think that I would be completely out of place for not wanting my current love to befriend my ex-husband that had done so much damage to my life. But then again, that’s who I’m finding out is what my soon-to-be-ex is all about – leading a double life.

Thanks for the Laugh.

One of the funniest things that I found out that Erik shared with my ex-husband is that he was convinced that if he and I ever split up that I’d go running back to my ex-husband. I laughed harder than I’d laughed in months. My ex-husband and I are in a much better place today than before but there is no way in H E double hockey sticks that I’d ever go running back to him.

Apparently, when Erik said this it was aimed at trying to say that I need a man in my life in order to function. While I will admit that it was a fast turn around, for me, between my ex-husband and Erik, it was because I was completely in love with him. Not because I needed a man.

So while I do love being in love, I have zero desire at this moment to be in love with anyone but my kids, my life and myself. I have too much to do and to add another person right now would take the emotional capacity that I just don’t have.

But I do love a good flirt. So I’m so thankful for my new friend.

If you’re in the middle of a divorce, I promise ‘the flirt’ will happen to you too when you least expect it. Enjoy it.

“Happy girls are the prettiest.” ~Audrey Hepburn

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